In Search of Inspiration

A little more than two years ago my friend attended school at the Academy of Art in San Francisco for graphic design. Although she was doing what she loved, that is learning about and using new practices for her future career, she was four hundred miles away from her friends and family, people in her classes were not very friendly or sociable, and she lived in the heart of a city where she was always cold and constantly dealt with catcalls and unwelcome glances from passersby. She was lonely in San Francisco and decided to move back to warm southern California where she supplemented her academic city experience with the online classes that her school offered.

I am no artist, but this particular artist friend of mine talks about how important it is for artists to be inspired by their surroundings/environment in order to produce quality and meaningful artwork. Now that she has been here for two years after coming back from San Francisco, she is contemplating going back because, as she claims, “[she is] not inspired here.” I guess I can attest to that seeing that we both feel that there is a lack of artistic passion, or maybe passion at all for that matter, amongst our social circle of friends and acquaintances. It seems as if none of these individuals have any strikingly noticeable interests or convey any sense of passion for a pastime or particular issue. We feel that we are always doing the same things, going to the same places, meeting the same kinds of people, and discussing the same issues day in and day out. My friend feels that she is in need of inspiration and that she isn’t necessarily getting this from spending her time here at home. As everything and everyone around us appears to be static and unchanging, we now associate a sort of circuitous, monotonous lifestyle with the term “the OC bubble” (as I believe we are justified to say as we are 22-year natives of Orange County. However, we may be wrong in our assessment as I am sure many other people consider their hometowns to be just as monotonous and boring.) Despite my friend’s difficult experience in San Francisco, she now feels that it is in her best interest to go back to “real school” as she wants to break free from her somewhat stagnant development here and as there are better job opportunities for a graphic design career as well as greater exposure to graphic and visual media in a large city such as San Francisco.

Although I am somewhat saddened by the news that my friend is most likely moving back to San Francisco, I understand her decision as I too believe that she will be more focused in an environment where she has maximum exposure to both her academic and career interests. This change in surroundings seems to be more beneficial to her personal, spiritual, and professional development and I know that this is what she wants for herself. But despite one’s initiative to help stimulate one’s personal growth, there are times when even family and friends are not supportive of one’s decision to move away from home. They find it unnecessary to leave behind everything that you’ve known all your life and to leave behind your loved ones who have been there for you since the beginning. I have found that this is especially true for close-knit, more traditional families where, in their culture, family is the most important social entity where compromising those ties by any means is a serious issue. As some may find that they must never leave their home towns in order to support their families and to avoid creating possible distance between them and their friends, they, in turn, cloister themselves from all other opportunities that are available to them outside of the communities in which they have lived for their entire lives.

I believe that parents, family, and friends fear that when people move away to “find themselves” or to pursue better opportunities for school or their career, they fear that they will become so involved with their new life that they will forget all about “home” and will never come back. Although this is possible, I hope that loved ones, as well as the individual considering moving away, will recognize how extremely beneficial it is for people to explore areas outside of what they are already familiar with so as to experience new people, places, and situations that will help them learn more about themselves, their interactions with others, and the other people and issues which exist in the world outside of their home town, while still being faithful to where they came from.

Sometimes we must learn how to go outside our comfort zones and let go of that which we fear might never return to us in order to do what is not necessarily best but what may be better for us or our loved ones. And when we do depart from home and from our family and friends we must never neglect or dismiss where we grew up and the people that helped us become who we are today.

“Never let anyone change who you are”

I heard Donald Trump say this to a live audience on “The Millionaire Inside” the other day. Although he gave this advice within the context of how to be successful and how to achieve one’s goals, it reminded me a lot of how I used to think about people in general. Before, my belief was that people should always accept others for who they are and that people should never change themselves to please others. Although I held on very strongly to this frame of mind, I’ve recently started to consider how the individual, regardless, either intentionally or unintentionally changes himself as a result of complaints from those closest to him who are more directly affected by his behavior or tendencies, to gain approval from certain people or from his peers, to create a persona which he believes will better contribute to society or those around him, to genuinely better himself, to relieve some sort of dissatisfaction in his life, or other various reasons.

I think its easy for people who are very confident and sure of themselves to adhere to this mentality of “never let anyone change who you are.” Its interesting, however, how this mindset can be drastically challenged when you encounter people who shatter all which you once held to be true about yourself and you begin to ponder whether or not the brutally honest criticisms which you are being bombarded with really do apply to you. If you choose to refute these criticisms you remain in a state of control, and possibly denial, rather than self-doubt. You can continue to keep your head up and not let anyone get the best of you. However, if you choose to accept these criticisms as valid and true you may experience a self-awareness to your flaws and may suddenly feel the need to “improve” yourself due to the fear of possibly being a tragically flawed, malicious human being. At times you may have to make the decision of whether or not to own up to your mistakes and personal habits. You can refuse to accept the truth about yourself and retain your convenient self-perception and esteem, or you can recognize your faults and possibly leave yourself vulnerable to further scrutiny and a loss of sense of self. This vulnerability is undoubtedly painful but can be extremely rewarding later as it will allow you to recognize the areas in which you can improve and will help you better understand the meaning of humility and open-mindedness.

But coming back to my earlier point, when that choice of leaving yourself vulnerable leads to the foundation of your person being considerably diminished, that is when you begin to doubt yourself and your actions and you struggle with the idea of whether the change that you choose to initiate for yourself is changing for the better or simply changing for someone else. But then again, who said we have to change ourselves to begin with? And what are our reasons for doing so?

At times change is inevitable but I think it is important that we make the distinction between improving upon our personal faults while coming to accept these flaws as apart of who we are versus changing ourselves entirely to fit others’ preferences and, consequently, abandoning the person who we have come to be.

Introlude

I decided to entitle my blog after Robert Frost’s poem as it embodies the notion of choice and how the individual, at times, makes decisions of which he or she is not entirely certain. Sometimes we don’t know where the choices we make will lead us but sometimes venturing into the unknown and putting oneself in uncomfortable situations is the only way to self-discovery and personal growth. This blog will discuss various issues of change, resistance to and intentions for change and the related topics of identity and self-definition. Stayed tuned.